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woah

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I'd Lie

Songwriters: Swift, Taylor Alison;

I don't think that passenger seat
Has ever looked this good to me
He tells me about his night
And I count the colors in his eyes

He'll never fall in love he swears
As he runs his fingers through his hair
I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong
And I don't think it ever crossed his mind
He tells a joke I fake a smile
That I know all his favorite songs and

I could tell you his favorite colors green
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes
And if you ask me if I love him, I'd lie

He looks around the room
Innocently overlooks the truth
Shouldn't a light go on?
Doesn't he know I've had him memorized for so long?

He sees everything black and white
Never let nobody see him cry
I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine

I could tell you his favorite colors green
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes
And if you ask me if I love him, I'd lie

He stands there then walks away
My God, if I could only say
I'm holding every breathe for you

He'd never tell you but he can play guitar
I think he can see through everything but my heart
First thought when I wake up is, "My god, he's beautiful"
So I put on my make up and pray for a miracle

Yes, I could tell you his favorite colors green
He loves to argue oh and it kills me
His sisters beautiful he has his father's eyes
And if you asked me if I love him
If you ask me if I love him, I'd lie

writtern @11:11 PM

oh Lord, bless me.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

k i am gonna change my blog url as soon as i find a new nice url! ):
laugh laugh laugh.
gah.
yes i agree,
it's totally bimbo and make me sound so. UGH i dunno. haha

k anyway.
exams coming. i'm stressed. yeah
who can teach me physics and chem. gah. i'm doomed for those two.
chinese don't need bother, no hope alr.
both math i'm working hard on them.
oh yes. i totally don't get ss.
somebody teach me how to do SBQ!!(for ss and history) and ESSAY for hist.
gah.
this is terrible.
IF MY POSTITION IS TOP HALF THE COHORT I WILL GET AN IPOD.
ahhhh.

oh well ytd went to church study.
only math.
don't understand anything else.
that's about it.
haha

TODAY.
today got 2.4 km run.
after school, chiong to melody's house to eat a little. then 8 of us go take cab to east coast park.
after stretching, then yay, start running.
ended up third.
i'm just happy enough luh. haha
1st was JACQUELINE
2nd was VALERIE
3rd was ME (carolyn angelina ferrari chan hui ming)
4th was SERENE
5th dunno
6th dunno
7th was ZANN
yay.
cross-country own! haha
can't wait for timing. hope i get 9 mins something. :DD
oh well. back home.
been thinking lots.
haha.
oh yes.
i'm so happy with my prezzies.
i nvr really got to thank them all.

thanks to...
aunty angie.
joshua.
wenting.
amos.
aaron.
melissa.
peggy.
jeanette.
michelle.
ian.
clara.
cheryl.
angela.

still got who else ah.
oh well. that's all i can rmb.
oh yes.

cards were nice too.
thanks:
mission team.
amos.
aaron.
joshua.
wenting.
bryan.
ian.
suyi.
deborah.
lynn.
feli.

thanks you all.
many many loves from me!

bleh, i'll harden my heart to anything that would shift my focus from God.
yes i'll trust in Him.
yes i'll give thanks to Him for trials.
oh yes, i'll make everyday a form of thanksgiving and praise to Him.
and yes, i'll pray for His blessings upon me.

Ferrari(:

writtern @8:04 PM

aaron's birthday

Friday, April 17, 2009

CIRCUMSTANCES DO NOT DETERMINE MY FUTURE. (getting this into my head.)

yes indeed i'm posting more
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AARON UNCLE:D (today)
oh and GREG(tmr)!

today.
went school without tied hair only to find SHOP cancelled haha.
and then today got like 3 test consecutively. one after the other.
gonna fail physics and ss luh.
hopefully do well in ENG.
argh.
stress. about two wks more till mid years.
got study plan.
must make it work.
stress la.
gonna start sleeping earlier than usual. i hope.
oh then after school went home, take jacket then met jon at mrt.
go orchard. find josh. gave him a shock.
walk around.
go orchard cine.
wait for aaron and wenting.
and yeah.
haha
bought KNOWING tickets.
aww josh couldn't watch. (MAYBE i go with you another time luh ok? haha)
oh yes. before that. we took NEOPRINTS haha.
super funny.
they dunno how to pose one.
jon's like. uh, ok, whatever.
then wenting's like trying to find new pose.
then aaron is like amused i think. haha
then josh got all the funny faces. just him. HAHA.
and i was the best. haha. i was laughing thru out.
HAHAH
k.
then go rush for KNOWING. which was pretty cool.
talking about the end.
probably a christian producer/director/scriptwriter. i dunno la. LOL.
haha
scary though. bah.
me and wenting whole time grab jackets to cover eyes.
haha
advice. guys, bring your partner to watch. HAHA. inside joke. lol
then after that go city hall meet clara, bryan and ian.
then go makan sutra eat.
i didn't eat anything thought. no appetite.
left the group to walk at the marina bay there.
walk walk. listen music. star gaze. watch ships.
then went back. then left again.
go walk walk. buy cup corn. watch music group perform. then go back.
yes, i was not myself i guess. not the noisy, whiny, irritating me.
i started thinking of many random stuffs.

me, and all the failed or neglected relationships i've had.
all the useless, time-wasting things i've done.
all the stubborness i have, not wanting to listen.
how i make stupid decisions.
how i never actually trusted in the Lord at times, though it was evident He was there for me.
how i should just not get so attached.
past memories of me and other ppl.

oh yes, dear hexian kor.
i'm so sorry i've never really been talking to you.
sorry i'm busy.
sorry it seemed i never cared how you were.
sorry i just neglected you.
you're my kor, i love you always.
just walking around at marina, reminds of the last time i went out with you.
thanks kor!

argh. one example. i'm sorry all. those whom i've neglected.
my mind has just been too focused on one thing.

what does being liked by everyone matter anymore.
plastic world out there.
everyone fighting for survival, acceptance.
who can i trust.
no one.
except God, that is.

k sorry. i'm just spouting random things.
that are going through my mind.

oh well, tough times. prayer is important.
i'm just tired. tired of what life on this earth can bring.
oh i long to be with my Father in heaven.
but still, must fulfill my duty here.
gah.
sorry for making you all read this.
well, just something i use to spill out.
:D don't worry about me.
i'm fine.

Ferrari(:

writtern @11:32 PM

my baptism, my birthday

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

yay. i'm officially 15. woohoo. quick, make next year come faster!
lol.
anyway
I GOT BAPTISED:D
carolyn angelina chan hui ming
yepp, that's my name.

oh i got alot of cards and flowers and presents. not really sure why. but yeah. haha
thanks you guys!
oh wel, after that went to eat lunch with bryan, wanxin, marcus, ian. yeah.
and went back church for awhile then go see them play soccer
wanted to play too. but lazy change clothes. haha
so watch awhile, went to phildia's house put things.
and then went dinner with them.
then go mediacorp!
haha
woohoo.
campus superstar finals.
rachel (ai jia) got 2nd but nvm.
she's real great as a singer.
nvr got first only cause of votes. haha
then went home really late.
phone no batt, everyone couldn't get thru to wish me happy birthday HAHAH
then i reach home charge, straightway got call from josh and wenting.
josh sang birthday song to me on the phone with the guitar.
how sweet haha
k thanks liau and josh! my ahem boyfren and bestfren HAHA

k my birthday
i didn't wanna go school so early.
so slept in...
haha. until 9 plus wake up bathe, pack bag, then reach school at recess. haha
had lessons.
then WENT OUT!
haha
i got a little surprise from bryan and wenting luh.
end up amos was there too
and aaron
we went to new york new york to eat. haha
there was a mango cake too.
thanks bryan pig pig pig for the treat! :D
AND THANKS AARON FOR THE CAKE!
after that go starbucks talk super long.
then wenting and aaron left.
and me ian and bryan go take 14.
k i keep hearing the song-she's gone.
all ian's fault.
hahaha
that's all.
oh well. happy birthday to me :D
Ferrari((:

writtern @9:58 PM

woah

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

hello. woah. long time since i posted.
i really have no idea why i'm posting
probably need to vent off my anger or something.

it's weird how you find God has so many plans for you, and suddenly you just find everything crashes down on you.
let's just start with the sweet yeah?

k i love being with the kids in KFC. it just makes me forget all my troubles and worries.
you see the kids wanting to learn, and those that don't, they just get influenced by you!
it's just so heartening.
i can't ever describe it, seriously.
you've got to try it for yourself.
you not only see the change in them wk by wk, you see yourself being used for God's kingdom!
after all, children are really important in God's eyes.
i guess i'm done with the p3 girls, going over to be with the p1 boys.
i believe, in the past year and few months, the girls have looked up to me as a role model and sister.
someone they can follow and someone they love.
hearing them greet it just like a melody being sung. i'm being all sensationaly but okay, haha enough of that.
i have a little boy in my class now. nathaniel. he's dyslexic.
i just found out a way for him learn!
i brought him out of class last sunday, and taught him his memory verse slowly.
through actions and all.
and a little sweet. haha
but he enjoyed it. i'm glad. :D

oh yeah and i joined the worship team too.
trust God will help me grow through this whole experience!

what else.
oh yes, i'm in the cross-country team.
not bad
4.1 km my timing was 23.06.16 mins. i think haha
position 125 over 275 i think
ahh. i'm proud of myself
hahah
praise God. he helped me through!

oh yeah, and
i've just joined the school worship team.
band i/c.
can't wait for what's gonna come.
haha

i think there's more to thank God for. but i just forgot. haha

k for the sour part.

hmm. things can't be said much here.
it's public after all.
but easier to type than to write in a diary, so i'm just gonna babble abit.

i'm really sick of what's been happening.
i feel like giving up everything sometimes.
i feel like i'm stuck in the mud halfway
i can't sink anymore, neither can i come out of it.
troubles just keep pouring one by one.
and the worse thing is. i can't share with anyone
i long for love. i long for someone to tell me it's okay, and to give me a hug, and stay by my side no matter what.
yes, i know God's there for me. and i feel it.
but there are times, i just can't help it.
i'd cry in my room, i'd cry in my heart.
it totally hurts.
and yes, i do know God can help me.
i'm desperately praying.
anyone there, to just let me lean my shoulder on? to cry on? to hug me and tell me it's alright?

oh well. God, hear me. i'm desperate. crying for your help. crying for your love to overwhelm me.
for you to strengthen me and not let the devil get to me. please oh God, i love you.

k enough of those.
oh well.
life's been tiring.
school just tires me out
once again i've to trust in God's strength.
sec3 life is crazy.
did well for ca1.
don't think i'd do well for sa1 though
i'm not gonna get retained
NO i'm not.
oh well.
birthday's coming.
i'm supposed to be real excited.
i'm not though.
not that excited.
my mum's real nice. gave me money to buy dresses.
bought two from max and more. which was cheap BUT. my mum didn't like them.
say out of fashion. HAHAHA. and say look like ah huay. whatever that is. doesn't sound nice
SO the next day she forced me to go shopping with her.
bought a really nice dress from billabong.
EX LEH. but whatever la. she wanna buy one. HAHA
so yeah.
go rachel chua ai jia. must win Campus superstar!
haha
oh yeah i was on tv. haha
here's the link

oh yeah sybim went great,
my group was fedex. and we won. haha
though it's not about winning.
oh well. it was fun. haha

k luh. i'm tired.
tomorrow got running trng
i'm tryiing to slim down.
see you all!
:D
Ferrari((:

writtern @8:02 PM